Thanks for following along on this investigative crackdown of the fashion faux pas on the Jersey Shore! If you haven't seen Part I or Part II, you'll definitely want to check them out.
Now, without further adieu, prepare to be horrified and disgusted - and maybe embarrassed because you have either worn something similar in nature or are friends with an offender.
Much like the cast of Jersey Shore's attire, there is an obsession with too tight, scantily clad clothes - with some sort of attention grabbing verbiage on the backside!
3. Booty Don't
And just in case you didn't catch the wedgie caused by a thong on a mannequin (cause that's necessary), here's a close up.
There's nothing beautiful about this backside, Bella.
A few things:
1) If it looks this bad on the mannequin, then it will only look worse on you.
2) If you really were "royalty," you'd be dethroned AND
3) On the contrary, this does not make your rear look smaller - it makes it look wider.
With the exception of a night full of peer pressure & poor judgment at my high school graduation's all night "Project Graduation," where some strange man for hire spray painted "Gina" and a megaphone on the backside of a pair of shorts, I have never willingly purchased any piece of clothing that would inevitably draw one's eye to the very part of my body that I'd like to hide!
4. A "Frayed" of Disaster
That's right, honey. Hide your face behind that hat. Don't show it in public with those pants on.
Why this outfit doesn't work:
Because you paid for a full pair of pants and got half a pair of pants. Also, because it looks like Freddy Krueger crawled through your closet. And because if he didn't stop shredding up the thigh, more than just your leg would be hanging out. There is no possible place on earth that is an appropriate setting for these pants unless you just got released from cell block C. Ok, I'm done.
I'll give you some real reasons now:
Wearing a pair of jeans like this means that you want to send a certain message. Unfortunately, people will receive the message that you want to give a part of yourself away easier than you should. This look also is cheap. Yeah, I said it. Even though there isn't much actual jean material left, the acid washing at the top is a dated style.
I do not have any pictures of alternative, appropriate outfits because that would mean I would just be posting pictures of my backside in jeans with nothing imprinted on them or of me just in a pair of jeans that doesn't have any fabric missing. It's that simple. I decided to spare you.
Instead...a tribute to the cast of MTV's Jersey Shore House!
G J A